Take note, as a new landmark is reached with this post: the first Pointless Milestone that is a second. Consider that the second occurrence of a Pointless Milestone is arguably more Pointless by its very nature.
When we last heard from TPL (That Particular Lady), she was sarcastically excited about going to church, and Terry had her computer. Let's find out where her life's at now, five days after her original call. As before, I will provide my best interpretation of her ramblings.
"Heyyyy, Helen.
Do you understand the importantcy of leaving or losing a wallet?
Your mother has to be contacted. I kid you not. I've tried (???) and your number is the most important one.
I do not have her number. And you wrote down the wrong address. Wrote down her rental home address.
(Indecipherable.) And my brother Terry is mad at me (what's new. Let's not ??? be to is??? ??!?!?!?)
My wallet is in your mother's vehicle's car. I need you to give me confirmation on that. I really do.
And will I keep calling? Yeah I will. Until I've received confirmation, you bet I will. Why? 'Cause it's important."
HERE'S WHERE I BREAK IT DOWN:
From the initial "Heyyy," you might expect the next words to be "...hey hey it's Fat Albert!" A truely bizarre beginning. Touché, TPL.
Next she launches right into the matter at hand, which is a wallet, and its importantcy. Having lost a wallet last summer, I can certainly empathize with the importantcy of her situation. I can't even tell you how well I understand the importantcy of leaving or losing one.
And now, a new player enters the fray: Helen's mother. Apparently she is a key figure in the case of the missing wallet, and if we skip ahead a bit, we can see that TPL's conjecture is that the wallet is in the mother's vehicle's car. Based on this wording, we are left with no choice but to assume that the mother has a vehicle which itself has a car. I would speculate that the vehicle is some sort of sentient, hovering personal transport pod that interlocks into a specifically designed compartment within the automobile. It's really the only logical conclusion.
In addition to having trouble contacting Helen, seeing as how she keeps calling me instead, TPL seems to have trouble contacting her mother as well. What if Helen purposely wrote down the wrong address, to save her mother from the hassle of dealing with TPL? What if, and I'm about to blow your mind here, Helen also purposely gave TPL the wrong phone number (which happens to be mine), because she didn't want any calls from her???
If this was planned subterfuge, we can extrapolate two possible reasons for this behavior. First, they were tired of getting these weird messages, which is plausible, although I have to admit, I find them rather entertaining. Second, this was all an elaborate operation to steal TPL's wallet.
But let us move on to Terry. Now we know that he is TPL's brother. In the first voicemail, it was established that Terry was in possession of her computer, but now is in possession of anger at her. Given the passionate technological need she previously expressed, it is almost certain that this matter is related to the current familial tension. It seems that the continued absence of her beloved data machine, coupled with the lost wallet, have left TPL in an irritated and impatient state.
Finally, let us revisit the speculated location of the missing wallet. Just what would it be doing in Helen's mother's vehicle's car, anyway? Well, I propose that Helen and her mother gave TPL a ride to church, the day after the original voicemail. I mention this in order to revisit the age paradox, because once again she sounds much closer to retirement age than drinking age. But if Helen is an approximate peer of TPL, how old does that make the mother who is driving them all around? I need to understand.
And will I keep blogging about this? Yeah I will. Until I've finished the story, you bet I will. Why? 'Cause it's important.
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