Soda Pop Review #1: Trader Joe's Vintage Orange Cream Soda

Well this space is getting dusty so I might as well put some new knick-knacks on the shelves. So what if soda pop reviews don't fit into my finely-tuned theme of documenting the meaningless breakthroughs of everyday life? S'my 'blog I'll do what I want.

You see, I recently had a birthday party (featuring music) that had an admission price of (at least) one unique bottle of soda pop. I fielded some suggestions that I should keep everyone appraised of my carbonated conquests; I seek to honor those requests, so here is the first of these.

Also, in fine beverage reviews, it is often the case that the beverage is paired with some sort of complementary selection. I have chosen to pair my soda pops with vinyl.

My first selection was the winner of the completely subjective competition for the right to be called my favorite (pre-taste, of course): a four-pack of Trader Joe's Vintage Orange Cream Soda. The primary reason for my choice was the careful adornment of each bottle by my friend Cathy. Two bottles featured my likeness on them, one with a musical theme and the other cinematic, while the remaining two bottles (and the cardboard 4-pack sleeve) display a parade of famous persons who share my name, although some of them spell it incorrectly.

So the Trader Joe's Vintage Orange Cream Soda earns major points for after-market modifications. The beverage itself lives up to its name, a rich blend of velvety citrus that goes down easy. It has that sort of blandly unobjectionable quality that many Contemporary Christian musicians also possess. Speaking of which, Michael W. Smith.

I have selected his debut album "The Michael W. Smith Project" to go along with this soda pop. His lightly granular voice corresponds well to the tartness of the orange, while his smooth style on the keys is a perfect match for the creaminess. The cover artwork features Mr. Smith's smiling bust floating through an orange-hued 3-dimensional grid; one can only assume that he is excited to escape his primitive Cartesian prison and adorn a Michael-themed Orange Cream soda pop bottle.